Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The hidden egoism (written by Sanna Nova Emilia)

Read about our hidden motives by Sanna Nova Emilia

I have called it altruism and empathy
I have called it care and love
But I have always satisfied the needs of others
because of egoism and fear
I have called it care and kindness
I have called it genuine warmth
But I have always been stealing other people's power
by constantly being there for them
I have called it generosity
I have called it helping
But I have only been controlling other people
Manipulated others
to get their love
and never to leave me ...

I have called it concern
But there was never anything other than dependence
I have called it love
But there was never anything other than fear
I have called it generosity
But there was never anything other than guilt
And I emptied myself into bottomless barrels
For my addiction, my guilt and my fear
knew no end ...

When I pulled back my energy
without fear of losing
and without the fear of not being loved
then I was called for selfish and cold
When I pulled back my energy
then I was called a traitor loveless
Controlling
Manipulative
Self-absorbed
Unempathic
When I pulled back my energy
then I was called for ungenerous and unhelpful
But only now can I give with all of my heart ...

[Sanna Nova Emilia]

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